The JD Wetherspoon pub chain, under its “charismatic” and “eccentric” (i.e. mad) owner, has recently given space to the No-Euro campaign on its walls and beer mats. However, the arguments put forward are so feeble that, even though I probably know little more about the euro (than they or you), it doesn’t seem disrespectful to counter them with more ignorance.

The six deal killers on the beer mats are:

Unemployment in the euro countries is double ours

And this proves…? Amount of dog shit on their pavements is half ours, so what?

Euro households pay £1900 more tax than British households every year

Overall?! Doesn’t this only add weight to the argument that we don’t pay enough tax to fund decent public services in this country?

We wrecked the economy last time we tried this with the ERM

Different thing, different time, different government (and a useless chancellor).

We should spend the money on improving public services - not waste it on the euro

But I thought that involved paying more ta…hang on, what money??

We can trade with Europe without giving away the pound

Yes, and the crippling costs won’t deter any of the international businesses based here. At least, the ones that are left.

The euro is forever - if you don’t know, vote no

What, it’s more permanent than the pound?! This is the best one - if you’re ignorant, pick a default answer. No, don’t bother to become informed. Maybe the Conservative Party should have campaigned with this one at the last election: “If you don’t know, vote Tory”.

Why don’t they just cut to the chase and say:

We hate the frogs and krauts

For a better argument against the euro (although the suggestion that Europe might force us to cut our public spending to match theirs seems flawed), see Gary Younge’s column in the Guardian. I don’t necessarily endorse it, I just suggest it shows a little more intelligence than that found in the average saloon bar.