The head of the BBC has had a marvellous new idea to encourage creativity amongst his drones: give them “Cut the crap, make it happen” yellow cards to brandish at meetings where they feel stifled by inertia and negativity (e.g. “Oh god, not another cop show/Eastenders special/soapumentary!”). BB has to say that this initiative possesses all the fine attributes of the very best management consultancy, being terminally naff, deeply patronising and utterly irrelevant. And if someone ever waved such a card at us, we’d be tempted to subject them to a bout of inverse digestion by shoving it up their arse and then punching their teeth so far down their throat, they’d be able to chew it.

Of course, we can all think of many, many people to whom we’d like to show such a card (the Department of Transport, the postal service and Greg Dyke spring immediately to mind), but then we’d also all deeply resent it forever if anyone ever waved the same card at us.

BB’s approach to cutting the crap has always been to switch off the TV set. Works every time.