until they have a go at the band you like.

Ugh, prog rock dinosaurs, I hate ‘em. For no good reason, I’d like to say why: * Because they’re dinosaurs. My dad says being over forty doesn’t make someone a dinosaur. What a total dino, man. * Because I heard Tales From Topographic Oceans once and it, like, made no sense whatsoever and I could feel my mind opening up a crack, and therefore all prog rock is crap. * Because making songs longer than four minutes is just wrong. Why? Because. * Because it’s self-indulgent, pretentious, (…checks copy of Politically Correct Handbook Of Rock…) “overblown” tosh. * Oh yeah, and they dressed stupidly too. And err… right, they’re dinosaurs. Yeah.

But hey, enough about musicians doing what they want and showing off their creativity, let’s talk about the hot new band on the cover of the NME this week. The ones with the totally rebellious music and image, because that’s what the record company told them would sell. Or what about this underground spin-off electronica project, it’s really unaffected and sincere. Rock on, kids!

(S’funny how people who are probably quite balanced in their racial and sexual attitudes can never apply the same level of enlightenment to musical taste. For those who say, “Yeah, what about all those jibes at Coldplay and Will Young, Ade?” - I was talking about Music. Rrraowww.

As for the infamous Tales…: we’ve never listened to it properly yet either, but feel its alleged pretension was still most effectively undermined by Rick Wakeman sending out for curry halfway through a live performance at Manchester.)